Find my sweater


I dreamed about Belgian Groenendaels again.

Belgian sheepdogs are brilliant, as far as dogs go, but they're so goofy and playful I've found they make unreliable retrievers. Unless you happen to also have an actual retriever around for competition then they automatically become brilliant at that too for the duration.Top of the pack, in fact. Due to their grace in movement, pure poetry, mine have actually out-retrieved retrievers, adroitly and gently present the object like a wrapped gift, then drop the whole idea of retrieving like a hot rock once the competition is gone. It's an attitude thing. I've had them stand over the retrieval object and look at me as if to say, "Really? This idiotic game again?" And that after already doing it with more grace than you ever imagined a dog could possess. The dogs are super responsive to commands, in fact they live to obey their handler, but they love messing with you. You wonder at times, just who's training whom?

Canada

I dreamt I went to Canada to check out somebody's tattoo, which is strange right there, but I have to admit it was an amazing tat and totally worth it. I was taken by the skill and artistry of the whole thing; a rose but instead of thorns it had barbed wire. The thing that made it so interesting to me was the white shadowing that separated the barbed wire from the skin color. Unusual for a tat. It was amazing. A lot more amazing than my picture here.


It turned out the tat was supposed to cover up somebody's scar, and it signaled the person had been in prison. It was a gang-related prison tattoo.


But then around the grounds outside of the Canadian prison were old pecan trees with the BIGGEST PECANS ON EARTH !!!!! And nobody really seemed all that interested in them or to mind me picking them up. I couldn't believe this national treasure was treated so indifferently. I was able to pick up as many as I wanted  without being hassled. I convinced few other people they were worth picking up but they felt no sense of urgency whatever. I got the idea to make a pecan pie out of these pecans once I got back to the US.  


I went around collecting all the pecans I could get my hands around until I saw one with bird poop on it which grossed me out and put me off the idea of further collecting. At least I would have to be careful about bird poop and probably insects. But the idea about making a pecan pie was stuck in my mind, the whole time I was thinking, "The pie I intend to make is going to be AWESOME! " Which was puzzling because I don't much care for pecan pie. Way too much sugar. It's like 100% of molasses and brown sugar. Sets your teeth on edge.


But I still wanted to make one just to take advantage of the giant pecans. So I got a whole van load of giant pecans, drove back to the US, and coerced the entire Building Department of the Federal Reserve Bank to help me unload the truck. It took a good deal of convincing because they didn't believe me at first but when they saw how big the pecans were, they gleefully unloaded the truck and I was the hero of the story.I felt like I had won the admiration of my peers by my pecan-collecting prowess, and my treasure-recognition ability.   Then I woke up still with the strongest desire to make a pecan pie even though I still don't like them very much. Weird, innit?

cymbal monkey



Or, Democratic primary, if you like.

"My arms are quite tired."

Richard Warman


Thoughts of a personality gone evil.

Strange and pathetic distortion of character. Used Canadian Human Rights Commission, read tax payers dime, to attempt to destroy free speech in Canada. Decided somewhere along the line he needed to use what he perceived to be Nazi tactics to out-Nazi Nazis, and whomever else he saw fit. Eventually became a serious trial for all of Canada.

We don't much care for this man because he took the very best that is present in Canada and wrenched it into the very worst possible, to the extent that his betters are forced to consider changes to the national charter.

Tom Harkin



Hate the tie.

Viet Nam era F-4, F-8 pilot claims of flying under fire contradicted by records. Nevertheless criticizes actual heroic pilots and attacks the records of other war heros. Appears predictably at election times as media attack dog. Why the voters of Iowa keep putting him up can probably be explained best by the voters of Massachusetts. Go on then, ask one of them.

global warming Hillary



Protected by the Endangered Species Act of 1973

Of course we all know, and if you don't know you're too stupid to have this discussion, the Polar Bears are doing quite well, thank you very much. Their numbers have grown from 5,000 in the 1950's to and estimated 20,000 to 25,000 worldwide today, and that's hardly endangered now is it? A simple internet search will confirm this. Once again, it's about power and about control, pure and simple. Bears. Bah.

This reminds me of the Make-A-Wish Foundation refusal to grant a dying child's wish. A little boy dying of cancer asked to be taken to Alaska to shoot a polar bear. OK, now that right there cracks me up. They refused. And for that, I refuse to donate to them. The boy is gone now, the bears live on, thrive actually.

Hillary, on the other hand, well, we can always hope.

beer shipment catastrophe



Wouldn't do to let it be a complete waste.

puddle



Seen on b3ta.com. Gif.ed and shown by someone brilliant I wish I could name, now enhanced with steamroller action.